You can check out stories about the first day of school below! <\/p>\n\n\n
\n Rodney’s letter about his first day of school<\/h2>\n\n\n
Rodney is an established author and screenwriter. He has written and produced multiple short films, feature films and web series including a sci-fi adventure.<\/p>\n\n\n
![\"A](\"https:\/\/kidshelpphone.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/A-cover-photo-for-Rodneys-letter-about-the-first-day-of-school-655x1024.png\")
<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\nForwards Ever<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n by Rodney V. Smith<\/p>\n\n\n\n My old high school in Barbados had a saying: Forwards Ever, Backwards Never! I would find out later in life that this was a proudly West Indian motto with deep roots and significance. People lived by this motto. I myself never really appreciated the full meaning of it, but it was always fun to say whenever a challenge presented itself. To be honest, I still use it to this day as a kind of battle cry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The first day I heard it was of course, the first day of school, gathered with the other 60 fresh-faced kids in their shiny new uniforms. Uniforms that were a little too big on them, because they would eventually grow into them. You know how moms can be. They had all gotten the \u201ctreatment\u201d from their moms that morning, making sure the uniforms were ironed, collars nice and crisp, shoes polished. It wasn\u2019t even for photos, only to make sure that us kids looked proper and presentable. I think back to that first day, and you know what I remember more than anything? It was just a momentary observation, but it stuck with me through the years. There were a couple of white kids in that class, and they didn\u2019t look as crisp as the rest of us Black kids. Maybe it was how they wore their clothes, with a different attitude, or maybe it was that they didn\u2019t have to live with the talk that most Black kids have drilled into their heads by their parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou can\u2019t just settle for being good \u2014 you have to be better.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n I\u2019d nodded to let my mom know I\u2019d heard her, resisting the urge to roll my eyes because it wasn\u2019t the first time I\u2019d heard it and I knew that it wouldn\u2019t be the last. What I never thought of (and this only comes from hindsight) is that every other Black kid was probably hearing a version of this.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Just think about that for a moment as you get ready for your first day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Like me, you\u2019re probably not going to get how much is packed into that one statement. There\u2019s a lot of responsibility in that one statement, and as you head into high school, away from the comfortable familiarity of elementary school, it\u2019s going to mean so much more.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It\u2019s not just responsibility, it\u2019s potential and that makes it exciting, doesn\u2019t it? Admit it: you got a thrill from being officially dressed for your new high school. You\u2019re full of this nervous buzzing energy and you just want to explode. You can feel the potential in the air, to make choices and be anything you want to be. It\u2019s different now going into high school, because it feels like playtime is over. You\u2019re no longer one of the big kids, not for a few years. Now it\u2019s real and you\u2019re going to be stepping out of the front door into what feels like a different world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I could tell you that you\u2019re going to make all of the right choices and it will be a clear path, that it will be so easy, but I don\u2019t want to lie to you. You\u2019re going to do a lot of dreaming and generally just finding yourself, and believe me, that\u2019s OK. Right now in high school is the time for you to experiment and find out what it is that you\u2019re good at. You have to find what it is you want to do. You may suddenly find science absolutely enthralling, or go deeper into your art as you discover new ways to get out the stories in your head. You may even be a writer if you want (and no matter what your mom says, writing can be a real job) and create stories that will go on to become books and movies. Everything is possible. But\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n You\u2019re going to know deep in your soul that you\u2019re not starting off at the same level as everyone else. Mediocrity is not an option. Good is not enough, not for you. You have to be better from the start, because you\u2019re going to be judged more harshly, even when the judges don\u2019t know they\u2019re doing it. Your mother knows it \u2014 that\u2019s why she tells you over and over, because it\u2019s a reality that she lives every single day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I could tell you that everything is going to be awesome. I could say that you\u2019re about to make some of the best friends of your life. I could also say that you will adapt to the new class structure and all of the big changes. All of this will be true. Just not all together, and not all at the same time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n You\u2019ve been given the talk before about how hard it is for a Black kid to thrive in the world. Your dad or maybe even your uncle has taken you aside and tried their hardest to tell you how it isn\u2019t easy out there and the sooner you realize it, the better. Reality has been sinking into your worldview and sometimes it has not been a good feeling, has it?<\/p>\n\n\n\n You\u2019ve seen the reports on the news and always felt that sinking in your gut when it was almost always a Black guy as the main suspect in a violent crime. There is also the guilt, when after some horribly violent crime, you secretly cheered that for once it wasn\u2019t a Black guy. And you know that people look at you differently. Even in your group of friends, because you\u2019re the Black kid, there’s that feeling that people, mostly adults, look a little longer at you. There has always been that feeling in your gut that even your teachers in elementary school saw you as the \u201cbad guy.\u201d If there was a fight, you were almost always the main suspect. No matter how much they tried to be \u201cfair,\u201d it almost always happened. Some of the teachers looked at you as if waiting for you to finally lose it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n You\u2019re about to spend the rest of your life fighting for relevance and acceptance, and it doesn\u2019t stop. Even after you\u2019ve proven how good you are, how truly talented and worthy you are, somebody is going to come along and reduce you to a number in an algorithm and say, \u201cYeah, not good enough.\u201d And they watch you for a reaction, expecting you to take it on the chin like a champ, but\u2026 they\u2019re also daring you to show your true feelings and react.<\/p>\n\n\n\n This is going to be high school. Not all of it of course. You will have moments of joy, frustration\u2026 you will spend too much time second guessing yourself about if the object of your affection really likes you (they might, so ask them out!). You will also spend more time making up excuses about why you didn\u2019t do your homework, than actually doing the homework. And you will thrive, even while carrying the burden of the responsibility to be better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I had my school motto to remind me, and you\u2019ll find something similar. Forwards Ever! That\u2019s the battle cry for when things seem their worst and when you\u2019re convinced that you just can\u2019t do it anymore, can\u2019t live up to the expectation of being better. It\u2019s hard isn\u2019t it? But it\u2019s doable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n You will do it, and your mom will be so proud of you, because you rose to the challenge and you carried her words as a part of you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n Want to check out more stories (or share your own)? Visit the Peer-to-Peer Community at Kids Help Phone.<\/p>\n\n <\/div>\n\n \n Go to site<\/a>\n\n \n <\/div>\n <\/div>\n\n \n \n\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n High school isn\u2019t the greatest experience in your life, but it is a place where you can learn how to adapt to new people and new experiences. You learn how to build a group of friends who can support and help to guide you through the rough times, and who you can also be there for. The classes are there to give you structure and test your adaptability. It doesn\u2019t matter if you won\u2019t ever use calculus in a real world environment, or that in 10 years nobody will quiz you on the dates of that random thing that happened to someone in a history book (I don\u2019t remember either, so it\u2019s fine). What matters is how you take these lessons and shape your worldview so you have an opinion you can clearly articulate. It\u2019s all so you can see how you can change your own small part of the world. You can see how you can be the light that leads the way for all of those who follow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n You can look ever forward to the future and to the hope it can bring.<\/p>\n\n\n Nicole is a published author in Wattpad\u2019s Creator program. She has a large fan base across her social channels in addition to Wattpad, and her novels have been published under Wattpad Books and distributed worldwide.<\/p>\n\n\n You Will Be OK<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n by Nicole Nwosu<\/p>\n\n\n\n To my younger self,<\/p>\n\n\n\n As you get ready for the first day of high school, I know you don\u2019t have a clue of what you\u2019ll be getting into.<\/p>\n\n\n\n You\u2019re highly aware that everything from this moment on will be completely different. And with differences comes difficult adjustments, sometimes accompanied by anxiety for the unexpected. However, I think this change is something you might really need.<\/p>\n\n\n\n For 10 years, you were schooled in an environment where you were one of five Black kids in your grade, and the only African person in your grade. I know you felt extremely isolated sometimes when you were in that environment. You didn\u2019t look like many of the other kids. Sometimes there were moments where you were very aware that they didn\u2019t understand what it was like to see the world from your perspective. They didn\u2019t know what it was like to have your type of hair, to have your natural hair in twists or within box braids (especially for Picture Day when someone thought you would straighten your hair like everyone else did). They didn\u2019t know what it was like to be told, \u201cYou look like this person,\u201d and the only thing you and that person have in common is that you\u2019re both Black. With many more examples, extreme and not extreme, the differences were huge, and you managed to get through it all even when it felt like your self-esteem was knocked down to the ground. For elementary school, you often coped by reading whenever you felt down, throwing yourself in another world to make you feel better. And in that time, your biggest support system was your mom. She never made you feel like you were any less because you were \u201cdifferent.\u201d Even as you enter high school, her support for you will not change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But now, your school environment is drastically different as you enter high school. You know the predominant race of your high school is Black and many of those kids, like you, are of Nigerian descent. That\u2019s rare in Canada, even in a city like Toronto. Try not to be nervous. I don\u2019t think I have to tell you that, even though you are. But you\u2019re outgoing. I know you\u2019ll be OK.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Your worries at this time vary if I remember correctly. You\u2019re dealing with a lot in the family department. You\u2019re also worried that you won\u2019t make the basketball or soccer team when tryouts open up (spoiler: you did for both, and volleyball too, in Grade 11). You\u2019re nervous wondering if pre-AP classes are going to be as hard as they seem. You\u2019re not exactly worried about making friends, but you\u2019re worried if the friends you have from elementary school are going to stay your friends through the distance (another spoiler: some of them do, and some of them don\u2019t).<\/p>\n\n\n\n One worry that you have, different from your experience in elementary school, is wondering if you were \u201cBlack\u201d enough. Sometimes, stereotypes like how Black people walk and talk get pointed out, especially when you\u2019re a kid\u2026 When you seem to act differently in comparison to the rest of the kids in a new community that you enter. Sometimes, you think about it since you grew up in an area where not that many Black kids were. I want to let you know that this stereotype of \u201cacting Black\u201d will mean absolutely nothing to you as you get older. You\u2019ll learn that no matter how you talk, whether you sound \u201cwhite\u201d or not and the music you listen to (go through those musical phases loudly, you\u2019re doing just fine), nothing can invalidate your Blackness in any way, shape or form. You\u2019ll stop thinking about it midway through high school for a few reasons. One reason is the people you surrounded yourself with. They\u2019ll help you unlearn the idea that you should act a specific way and that being yourself doesn\u2019t make you any less of anything.<\/p>\n\n\n\n In addition, the friends that you\u2019ll make in high school become a big part of your support system. They\u2019re people who easily make you laugh in the middle of class, help you, encourage you and want you to grow as they do too. You still talk to them today.<\/p>\n\n\n\n While people get added to your support system, other methods of coping are added as well. During this transition, you\u2019ll start writing more often. Writing brings you joy. Interacting with people who read what you produce and like what you produce brings you joy. Playing sports also helps, along with all the books you find yourself reading at any given moment. Even though you\u2019ll be busy during high school, you\u2019ll always find time to read and get lost in a fictional world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And at the centre of your support system will still be the same person it was when you were a kid. The same person in your teens and in your 20s \u2014 your mom. She\u2019ll advise you and she\u2019ll cheer you on day by day. So just know it\u2019ll be OK if you make a mistake \u2014 she\u2019ll try to help you in any way she can. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Despite the support you have, I wish someone told you this \u2014 that sometimes, things won\u2019t work out, and that\u2019s OK. You have an \u201cIf I don\u2019t do this, I won\u2019t get here,\u201d mentality. A part of this is carried over when you enter university too, but luckily, you\u2019ll find out that it won\u2019t be the end of the world if things don\u2019t go down the path you initially planned. Just know that somehow, you will figure it out. <\/p>\n\n\n\n There are many things you can look forward to in the future. One, it was a great idea picking the high school you chose. You\u2019ll get the opportunity to learn more about the Nigerian-Canadian experience through many different lenses as well \u2014 no longer just your own. Two, you can look forward to publishing your first book and to writing more characters that have traits like you inside and out, and some that are nothing like you at all. Three, you can look forward to university and realizing which parts of science you like and which you despise completely. You can look forward to learning and seeing new things that will blow your mind. <\/p>\n\n\n\n So, finish putting on your uniform, grab your backpack and go. Life will get better. New experiences, challenges and successes await. And trust me when I say, even though you\u2019re nervous right now, you will be OK.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Good luck.<\/p>\n\n\n\n From,<\/p>\n\n\n\n Nicole<\/p>\n\n\n Saint is a writer of 2SLGBTQ+ romance, historical fiction and low-fantasy novels. She\u2019s educated in creative writing and enjoys producing emotional stories fuelled by character-driven narratives.<\/p>\n\n\n I wish we had the words<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n by Saint Caliendo<\/p>\n\n\n\n Dear Saint,<\/p>\n\n\n\n There are a lot of things I wish you had known when going into Grade 8. For example, you’d gain amazing skills in rugby and weightlifting, and the body consciousness you felt being awkwardly tall was only temporary. I wish I could tell you we got better at drawing, but honestly, not really. You\u2019re more of a writer now! You went from drawing superhero comic books at the back of notebooks to writing thousands of words that get read by people all over the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I know you\u2019re self-conscious about your spelling and accent. Being in a new school with fancier uniforms and a clique system is why you spend so much time writing and daydreaming. I want to let you know that one day all those things that bothered you will mean nothing. Not the silly cliques, not the people who made fun of how you say \u201cleggings\u201d and not all the stress from being scared that someone will find out that you\u2019re like that. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Queer. <\/p>\n\n\n\n You have a word for that now. <\/p>\n\n\n\n When you\u2019re a bit older, being queer will bother you. It will bother you so much that you fall behind on your studies, skip going to school and lose the few friends you have. You have your books, though. You write, read and get a hold of anything that features people like you. You\u200c daydream. You want to be like them. This is a difficult but fundamental time in your growth as a writer. Writing stories was your therapy, and you poured yourself into it. I wish, however, that you\u2019d reach out to people older who are like you. I wish you had the resources to address your feelings and process them in a way that wasn\u2019t so isolating. I also wish you hadn\u2019t pulled away and hadn’t developed a habit of being secretive. Your friends at least should have known. You lost them, but you reconnected with them when you got older. Yet you missed out on so much time and bonding in middle school and high school. They could have been there for you, and shutting them out had not only isolated you, but hurt them. <\/p>\n\n\n\n I should mention that you definitely don\u2019t want to be a doctor. Sure, you like biology and a bit of chemistry but get worse at them, just like how you couldn\u2019t keep passing math without studying! It will be hard to bring up to your parents, but you eventually do. Though I wish you had done this sooner. You were (and still do have some elements of) a people pleaser. I wish you had worked on that, and maybe you wouldn\u2019t have an ankle that pops because you ran a four-hundred-meter race with a sprain in high school, and of course an exhaustive list of every other little thing you still have to live with today. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Also, it would seem like ignoring the elephant in the room to not bring it up. So, I will bring it up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Hair. <\/p>\n\n\n\n You don\u2019t like your hair very much. It\u2019s a convoluted and complicated feeling. On one hand, your mum cutting off your hair is a common punishment. You \u201cgrow wings\u201d as she puts it \u2014 becoming more confident, more individualistic, sometimes you might even talk back \u2014 and then she \u201cbreaks them,\u201d cutting off your hair, taking away your phone and makeup, humiliating you so that you are small and docile again. <\/p>\n\n\n\n You know this is not a dig at mum.<\/p>\n\n\n\n There is often a tough but typical relationship in our community between adults and kids. It\u2019s hard to address. It\u2019s hard to rationalize. There is so much shame, self-pity and regret. <\/p>\n\n\n\n But to summarize, hurt people can hurt people.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Your mother was hurt growing up, and then she hurt you. It made your chest swell and your anxiety worse. It\u200c contributed to how much you devalue yourself. Your body, your hair, your feelings. At one point, you didn\u2019t want to exist anymore. You wanted to disappear. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Your hair was your enemy, and you would occasionally cut it off in protest \u2014 signaling that your mum taking it from you didn\u2019t bother you, and other times you wanted it straight and permed, so the kids at school would stop calling you names, and you would look pretty like the characters on TV or the dolls you got from your father when he came back from trips. I wish you\u2019d read and watched more diverse media. I wish\u200c that you didn\u2019t grow to dislike how you looked without really even understanding why. Social injustice is hard to understand when you don\u2019t have the words.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I wish you had the words \u2014 the vocabulary \u2014 and all the concepts you now understand as an adult.<\/p>\n\n\n\n You\u2019ve tried to run away once before, and another time you\u2019ve locked yourself in the closet and bathroom multiple times, just hoping no one will ever find you. <\/p>\n\n\n\n These were troubling coping mechanisms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n There\u2019s a lot that I wish you had done differently. But I do not blame you for it \u2014 try not to blame yourself for any of it. I wish you\u2019d had the words. The support. The community. <\/p>\n\n\n\n I could wish for it all, but it really doesn\u2019t change much.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Saint, I want you to know that despite all the mistakes you might have made, you turned out just fine, and you\u2019re happy that you\u2019re alive and well. I want you to know that one day you\u2019re going to graduate, and one day you\u2019re going to move to a continent across the ocean and start your life afresh where you are happy, queer and confident. <\/p>\n\n\n\n You will have an amazing, thriving community of other people like you. They come in all shades and colours. Many are African women like you. Also, you know some from your middle and high school days. You would look at them, and they would look at you, and you will\u200c acknowledge yourselves fully for the first time as queer people.<\/p>\n\n\n\n There are a lot of mistakes that were made, but there are also a lot of things you did right. Don\u2019t forget that. Be proud of how far you\u2019ve come, and how you made it through the other side. Embrace your intuition and foster your confidence. I wish you all the best.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Love, <\/p>\n\n\n\n Older Saint. <\/p>\n\n\n You can tap on the stories below to explore more first-person experiences from Black people in Canada:<\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/h2>\n
\n Nicole’s letter about her first day of school<\/h2>\n\n\n
![\"A](\"https:\/\/kidshelpphone.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/A-cover-photo-for-Nicoles-letter-about-the-first-day-of-school-642x1024.jpg\")
<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n Saint’s letter about her first day of school<\/h2>\n\n\n
![\"A](\"https:\/\/kidshelpphone.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/A-cover-photo-for-Saints-letter-about-the-first-day-of-school.png\")
<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n Where can I find more stories from people in Black communities?<\/h2>\n\n\n
![\"\"](\"https:\/\/kidshelpphone.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/Luke-and-Cassandra-tile-535x428.jpg\")
\n <\/a>\n <\/div>\n\n ![\"\"](\"https:\/\/kidshelpphone.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/Desiree-sitting-on-a-chair-with-a-blue-background_tile-535x428.jpg\")
\n <\/a>\n <\/div>\n\n ![\"\"](\"https:\/\/kidshelpphone.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/poem-tile-image.jpg\")
\n <\/a>\n <\/div>\n\n ![\"\"](\"https:\/\/kidshelpphone.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/Danai_tile.jpg\")
\n <\/a>\n <\/div>\n\n ![\"\"](\"https:\/\/kidshelpphone.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/adornment_tile-535x428.jpg\")
\n <\/a>\n <\/div>\n\n
![\"\"](\"https:\/\/kidshelpphone.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/Vanessa1_Tile-535x428.jpg\")
\n <\/a>\n <\/div>\n\n